They
obsess over your attention
an obsession that manifests itself
in prayers that go on for days
on end—
selfless
to the self, praying in the name of good,
good
God; selfish in the eyes of that good,
good
God: prayers prayed for the sake of a comfortable
afterlife
is not for God, not for anyone but the selfish idea
of
selfless surrender.
Surrender yourself to the flames of
Hell,
to
burn and burn and not die. Immortality is an eternal curse on fire.
The
smoke reaches the polished gates of sparkly Heaven but no one
shouts:
“FIRE!”—assuming that people actually live there, in that place that
God
was said to have saved for the selfless, selfish bastards.
Perpetual happiness that
rests on the pain of others will
never ever sleep well,
will never ever be worthy of God’s
quick glance, much less
God’s love.
In
comparison, our disenchanted life on Earth seems like a luxury,
an
abandoned paradise of anguish, and we watch as it evaporates
with
humanity’s last breath.
The
chance to live for a little while, and to die without any recollection of life
has
become a dream we will dream forever—
if only we were allowed to sleep
through it all…
“Forever” stripped off
of its poetics,
forever waiting for the
possibility of rebirth
in God’s absence.
*Written for Poligrei. Listen to the track here.